Friday, 20 January 2017

AN EXPLANATION


It has been over a month since I last posted here, and I thought I should write some sort of explanation on where I’ve been.  That is assuming that anyone has even noticed my absence! It is the longest time in over two years that I’ve not uploaded a blog post or even logged into my computer. 

This past month has been the hardest of my life for many different reasons. Everything I knew and loved has been ripped from under me and I’m living a life that now feels full of uncertainty. That sounds like a very dramatic way of explaining this, because ultimately what happened is that I’m going through a really bad breakup. My four-year relationship, which included a mortgage and a pet, came to an end. Not because of a decision I made but because it seems I’ve been living amongst lies for a long time. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how someone I thought I knew so well could betray and treat me so badly, and I won’t go into detail but I’ve been hurt more than I ever thought was possible. It is going to take a long time to restore my confidence and self-worth and to gain back the ability to put my trust in someone.

Because of this awful situation I had to make some impossible decisions. I’m back living with my parents, but am still financially providing for our shared home, and I had to leave my beloved cat which just the thought of breaks my heart. I was so sure I had everything figured out with my life, or as much as anyone can, but it suddenly feels like I’m back to square one again. 

The breakup also highlighted some problems that I’ve been dealing with secretly for a long time. I unwilling to admit just how bad my anxiety had gotten and how low I’d been feeling. So, I’m finally getting help. It has been a long time coming and now I’m here I feel stupid for not dealing with it sooner, it’s a long road to recovery but I’m glad I’m not fighting this completely alone.

I think when things like this happen everything in life gets put into perspective. I realised how bad my relationship was: I wasn’t treated right, I was manipulated and blamed for things that I shouldn’t have been. Rationally I know that things can only get better from here, but it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when everything has come crashing down so quickly. I put all my energy and effort into that relationship and it wasn’t reciprocated which is a very difficult thing to accept. 

My blog obviously took a back seat in all of this because I haven’t had the concentration or motivation to do anything, especially pick up my laptop. I’m still not sure where I want to go with this little space on the internet... Living back with my parents makes it much harder to photograph, and most of my stuff is still in boxes waiting to be sorted. Everything I used to write about seems almost trivial now, but at the same time I know it's important that I take pleasure in anything I can, whether that is books or makeup or just trying to leave the house.

It has been tough, and it still is. I’m not even close to feeling okay again and I feel like I have to start again, build a whole new life. It’s an overwhelming feeling, especially as someone who is riddled with anxieties. I’m not sure if or when I’ll be back to regularly posting, hopefully soon, but at the moment I’m trying to look after myself and take every day as it comes. 

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Monday, 12 December 2016

CURRENT MAKEUP


I've not been wearing a lot of makeup recently, there is no real reason other than that I've just got a bit lazy! My skin has been getting better so I don't feel the need for lots of base products and I just haven't felt like wearing a lot of eye makeup. It is actually quite liberating knowing I'm not as reliant on it as I used to be, and I'll happily go out without anything on my face. Of course it is nice to make that little bit extra effort but it isn't necessary in my everyday life! I've changed it up a little bit lately with a few new products and an old favourite that I've rediscovered, so I thought I'd share them with you, it's all very toned down and basic but that is what I like!

For my base I'm still using the Liz Earle Sheer Skin Tint that I've banged on about on countless occasions... It is just so good that I can't see myself using anything else! I love the light coverage it gives, because it isn't cakey and it lasts surprisingly well throughout the day. I wear this most days if I'm working or I have something semi important planned, otherwise I don't bother. I've found my skin is so much better since I've stopped wearing base products on a daily basis.

My dark circles are one thing I cover up most days, because they just make me look way more tired than I actually am. They're hereditary rather than a sign of the amount of sleep I've had so there isn't much I can do! Recently I've been enjoying the Soap & Glory Kick Ass Concealer, which is a very soft stick concealer basically. I find it really moisturising and not as heavy as some others I've used so it looks pretty natural when I use it. Sometimes this is the only makeup product I'll use so I need it to look natural otherwise the rest of my face would look a little odd! One thing I don't know is if Soap & Glory are cruelty free... There is a lot of conflicting information and I don't know who to believe, so if anyone has any information please let me know!


I've rediscovered my Sleek Storm Palette which I've had for a few years now (I know you probably aren't supposed to keep makeup for too long but when it comes to eyeshadows I kind of think it's okay...) and I just love it. It has such a good selection of shades and for such a cheap palette they are really pigmented and blendable. I steer towards the more neutral shades unless I'm doing a heavier look but you can literally do anything with this palette! Another Soap & Glory product I've used for years and love is the Supercat Liner. My standard eye makeup is a neutral eyeshadow as a base, liquid eyeliner and mascara so it's vital for me that the eyeliner is good! I'm not the most skilled at applying it, but this pen liner I find to be pretty foolproof and it always comes out jet black because there is nothing worse than when eyeliner comes out grey. As I'm yet to find anything better value than this one, I'll be repurchasing it for the foreseeable.

Finally a new mascara I've been trying out is the Barry M Showgirl one, which comes in rather garish pink metallic packaging. I've not been using it for very long but I'm not sure if it is working that well for me. I love big lashes, and before going cruelty free I used a lot of the Maybelline mascaras which always gave a lot of volume. I've been trying different cruelty free ones out and I just can't find one that gives the same affect. This Barry M one is good, it doesn't smudge and isn't too dry but it doesn't give enough volume for me. It gives a pretty natural affect, which is nice but not really what I'm looking for. 

As you can see my routine is pretty basic at the moment, but I just seem to have lost interest in wearing a lot of makeup. Maybe that'll all change soon, and I'll be sure to update you with any new products I discover. Also let me know your mascara recommendations because I'm desperate to find a new one!

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Sunday, 11 December 2016

THE SUNDAY POST NO.7

Instagram - @Bethanlikes

I'm actually a bit in shock that I've managed to post eleven days in a row so far this month. In over two years of blogging I've never posted daily so this has been a real challenge, but I'm enjoying it a lot. This next week is going to be a little trickier because I have lots of plans and a trip to London, so I'll need to get scheduling! I do hope you're enjoying my posts, even though they aren't all festive. 
Anyway I thought I'd share a few good things from the week before my boyfriend and I try to tackle a ten mile walk. We've done it before, and the route is very pretty I'm just not sure how well I'm going to cope in the cold... Wish me luck!

1. New glasses! I mentioned in another post that I was getting new glasses and I finally have them. It has been a good few years since I got my prescription changed and it has been so nice to see the world all sharp again. I can't believe how much I was missing out on. It is definitely a lesson to go to the opticians more regularly...

2. GBK (Gourmet Burger Kitchen) opened up in our city recently and we hadn't had a chance to try it out until Wednesday. The burgers were so good, and I love that they had a good selection of veggie options. Plus anywhere that does Oreo milkshakes is always a winner for me!

3. I've started reading Lauren Graham's book Talking As Fast As I Can this week and I'm enjoying it so much. You can tell it is written by her as the language is just the same as how she speaks in real life. It is full of so many funny stories, and I'm loving reading more about Gilmore Girls from an insiders perspective. 

4. Christmas chocolate. Now I know most Christmas chocolate is sold for gifts but I don't have a big family and to save money my friends and I don't do presents, so this year I've bought my own festive treats. Is there anything better than Terry's Chocolate Oranges and boxes of Celebrations, because I don't think so!

5. I've found a new nail polish love in Barry M's Supersonic. It is the most insane blue and when it's on my nails I can't stop looking at it. I never thought I'd be into blue but apparently I am!

This weeks Blogmas posts: Christmas Market, My Cruelty Free Skincare Routine, A Book Wishlist, Our Christmas Decorations 2016, My Winter Skin Saviour, How to Love Reading

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